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Create a Life Designed by You, for You

Updated: Apr 11, 2020

Mediocre becomes exceptional when you ask yourself what you really want and what’s important.



In today’s modern society, there is so much pressure to adapt very quickly that we can feel incredibly anxious and judgemental about ourselves if we don’t leap to a new position and change instantly.


We deem our natural adjustment in time and space; our pause to consider and survey the altered terrain of our lives ‘procrastinating’ or indecisiveness, but I have learnt it’s a powerful opportunity to take stock.


Even after all the work I put in figuring out my next steps, I still couldn’t muster the energy to push forward to start my business after my job was made redundant.


My ‘procrastination’ as I called it was merely my conscious and sub-conscious minds taking time to adjust and process my new found circumstances. This new place was actually a safe place for me to be in that moment.


By trusting the timing and the process, it allowed me time to analyse my options, figure out if I had any potential allies or mentors that could help me and work out what my hurdles might be and how to overcome them.


The opportunity to share my hopes and fears with a professional business coach without judgement meant I was able to get valuable feedback to help me progress.


Whilst my redundancy felt like a death at the time it happened, it has been the best thing that could have happened.


I had been resistant to change because of my fear of the unknown but, by letting go and being open to new possibilities, I have made great strides.


There are moments when I yearn for the security of a 9-5 job with paid holidays – but then I realise I’m having too much fun being my own boss, saying ‘yes’ to unexpected opportunities and ultimately fulfilling my goal of building my brand - which is exactly what I always wanted to do.


Life is for living. We each have our dreams and desires, but we often don’t get to realise them.

For a long time, I’ve believed in going out there and doing things, instead of just thinking or wondering about doing them.


If I have wanted to visit a particular country but none of my friends are available, I have gone on my own intrepid adventure, taking delight in exploring the wonder of new places, people and experiences.


Too many people think about what they want to do, or who they would like to be, instead of just being who they are and doing what they want to do.


I like being able to go out and do all the things I’ve dreamed about.


Maybe that was the biggest turning point: the day I decided I was going to find a way to live the life I wanted.

I discovered I was craving a value-led, unique-to-me interpretation of fulfilment, contentment and achievement fuelled by my inner desire to “be me” and “be my own hero”, that doesn’t always match up with the stereotypical picture of what a ‘successful’ life looks like.


By slowing down, I can reflect more easily and truly consider my long-term aspirations and goals, rather than rushing headlong into my next project.


It’s a chance to embrace the new feeling rested and more grounded, with a clear sense of my true wants and needs. I am free to set off on a new path to create a life designed by me, for me.


Because life, after all, is a journey and I’m determined to enjoy the scenery along the way, the destination postponed until the absolute last minute, so I can enjoy every moment.


It’s time to rewrite the script before we find our life’s work boils down to a half-hearted ‘meh’ of someone else’s design.


Mediocre becomes exceptional when you ask yourself what you really want and what’s important; identify your strengths and passions; increasingly bring these into what you do, identify what’s holding you back and increasingly let these go.

I’ve found if you’re happy and confident in yourself and your positive choices, the words of novelist Edith Wharton resonate loudly “I believe I know the only cure, which is to make one’s centre of life inside of oneself, not selfishly or excluding, but with a kind of unassailable serenity – to decorate one’s inner house so richly that one is content there, glad to welcome anyone who wants to come and stay, but happy all the same when one is inevitably alone”.


So whether it’s courage, strength or a question that helps you pinpoint what is right for you, I hope you find inspiration in my story that can help you get to where you want to be.


My aim is to create a safe space that helps people heal, where they can reflect and be proud of their struggles, because everyone experiences pain and I’ve learnt that our most painful struggles grant us the most necessary growth, if we have the strength to let go.


“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself; do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it” - Bruce Lee.

 

I'd love to help you become your own hero at work. If you have any questions or would just like to say hello, find me at charmaine@theconfidence2bu.com


For details on the career coaching services available to you, visit www.theconfidence2bu.com/coaching


For more tips on building confidence at work, navigating career change, and applying for a new job, follow me on Facebook and Instagram @theconfidence2bu or connect with me on LinkedIn.

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